Exact Opposite

Posted by Jen on January 17, 2009 in Family, Lessons Learned |

My new issue of Parenting Early Years arrived today and because my parents are here and are helping with the kids, I had time to read it right away. [Ironic, ain’t it. Do they publish a magazine for parenting middle-agers? I think maybe someone should.]

Anyway.

So I was reading through the mag, with a bit of interest here and a bit there, when I hit “Mad at Dad“.

Now, I’ve been known to get mad from time-to-time. In fact, I have a fairly quick temper. So, this one interested me. Until I started to read the article. Then, I was just sort of confused, concerned, and a bit embarrassed.

So, apparently, a lot of women are mad at their husbands a lot of the time. And, apparently, there is a pattern to the anger that suggests that the male/female role stereotypes are still very much alive. Oh, and the icing on the cake … anger can kill ya.

OK … many magazine articles are written because of their appeal to a mass group of people. You know, information that will make us all feel relieved to know that someone else has the same crappy problems we do. But I felt like this article put me smack dab on an island in the middle of who-knows-where.

You see, in my house, every one of the “triggers” listed works in exactly the opposite way. I will elaborate. [Come on, you knew I would and this is the good stuff.]

44% of moms get mad because their husbands don’t notice what needs to be done around the house or with the kids.

Crap. Nope. This is a complaint Husband has about me. [Specifically the house part. Specifically, oh never mind ... the list is too long.]

40% of  moms get mad because their husbands can’t multitask.

Strike two. I do not multitask very well at home. It’s possible that I have a limited amount of that ability and I use it up at work. Either way, it’s a common Husband complaint.

31% of moms get mad because their husbands don’t help with the chores.

Uh … ummm … nope. He totally helps with the chores and I’m sure he wishes I would do more to help in certain areas. [Kitty litter comes to mind.]

50% of moms get made because their husbands get more  time for themselves.

I’m so out. I get way more time to myself than Husband does and I get it because he gives it to me. Mind you, I don’t feel like I have enough time to myself … but, he doesn’t either. It’s part of having small children.

Now before we all go getting judgemental [including me about myself, by the way], I’ve been working on getting better in all of these areas. Some days I’m better than others. Some days I just fail miserably.

I’m not sure what all of this means and I’m not sure what made me decide to post this. I’m certainly not a big fan of highlighting my less-than-stellar traits.  

I’ve known for a long time that my little family works against quite a few stereotypes. I’ve known for a long time that I tend to do things a tad differently. I’ve known for over 8 years now that I’m incredibly lucky.

Maybe that’s why I decided to post this … not as a confession or a gloat, but to celebrate Husband. He’s cool and he doesn’t get enough credit by half!

Apparently, he’s not only a loving husband and father who takes fabulous care of his family, he’s also saving me from more than a few anger-related health issues. I had no idea.

So, here’s to Husband … one amazing man and someone I love more than words. Thanks. B.

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