Don’t Worry, It’s Completely Normal…

Posted by Jen on January 6, 2009 in Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of..., Rants |

Well fan-freakin-tastic. I’m completely normal. Who knew?

Wait! I’m getting ahead of myself here. OK, rewind the day a bit. No, better go back a bit farther than that. Hmmmm…

A few months ago, I realized that my world was out of focus. Nope, that’s not metaphorical [although you could make a case or two on that one]. I literally have not been seeing clearly for quite some time. 

For much of the time, I’ve been blaming my computer screen. It was, in fact, completely out of whack due to a funky driver issue – everyone said so. [I have witnesses. I like to have evidence that I'm not just making stuff up!] So, it was completely normal that I couldn’t see and had nothing to do with me. Our IT department would come in and correct my vision, er, my computer monitor and all would be well.

Humph. Not what happened at all.

I actually fixed the driver issue myself when I was troubleshooting something else. And voila .. yeh, still wasn’t clear. Turns out IT can’t fix vision problems. Again, I ask, who knew?

So, I come to grips with the fact that my eyes have finally just given up the fight and are begging for assistance. I make an appointment – humph, insurance problem. I’m now plaing the when-the-heck-is-the-new-year-getting-here-so-I-can-schedule-a-dang-appointment-and-get-some-glasses game. I’ve done it before. Like Gloria Gaynor, I will survive. [I may even break into song.]

Fast forward a few blurry months to today. It’s the new year and all of my insurance issues are cleared up. [As far as I know.] Whoo-hoo! I’m off to the eye appointment and a clearer, more focused existence! [Still not metaphorical in the slightest.]

After a harrowing trip [um, I forgot my keys first.  Then, my phone and credit cards. I had to call the office - to which I didn't know the number becuase it was in my phone - and have my wonderful admin bring them to me. I will not tell you what she said to me, unless you ask nicely and/or figure out a way to make chocolate a healthy food group.], I met my nice new doctor. We chat. He’s young, married with two kids, new to the practice, and … well, let’s just say that the “looks decent wagon didn’t pass him by.”  But, I digress.

He is a very good (looking) doctor and, during my vision exam, he patiently explained quite a bit about vision. [I would have found it interesting even if he wasn't cute - it was all very Discovery Channel.] We were having a very nice vision screening and then he went a ruined the whole thing.

“How,” you ask?

I’m so glad you want to know.

It seems that my deteriorating vision is – wait for it – completely normal for my age.

I didn’t kick him. I thought about it … still am, actually. I smiled and thanked him for the explanation and for the prescription that was going to make me see clearly [... once the rain has gone. Yeh, couldn't resist that one.]

Now, I’m not a spring chicken. [Really? Did I just write that? Yes, and I'm not going to delete it.] I’m aware that I’ve reached a certain stature point on the experience scale. But, really, I had a baby last year and even my OB didn’t tell me that things were normal (or good or typical) “for my age”.

This is the first time in my life that anyone has said that to me. I can’t say I liked it. [As indicated by the fact that I'm still considering kicking the very nice doctor.]

On the other hand, he was cute and nice. He is going to make it so I can see clearly again. And, it’s so rare that someone tells me that I’m normal – for my age or for any other.

Hmmm … thinking about embracing normal for my age.

I’ll get back to you to let you know how that’s workin’ for me!

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