Alter Ego

I’ve discovered that I have an alter ego. I’m not quite sure where she came from, and I’m pretty sure that I don’t need to seek help to get her to go away, but she’s there … and she comes out in predictable moments and situations.

She’s cheery (sometimes in the extreme) and chatty. She’s hyper-tuned in and hyper-energetic – yep, just hyper. She’s collected and coherent and she’s on the edge. She’s a bit like Julie the Cruise Director … and, apparently, she lives in the South because she has a very pronounced Southern accent. (The Southern accent just shows up out of nowhere from time-to-time. When it arrives, the Southern manners (and, frankly, sometimes temper) that often come with it are as honest as the day is long.)

Now, please don’t go callin’ around asking about in-patient room availability. As I mentioned before she’s not dangerous. In fact, she’s actually kind and considerate (mostly) … she’s just a bit bizarre.

I’ve been on this planet long enough to know that folks behave differently in certain situations. For me, it’s apparently interactions people I have a fairly surface-level relationship with … and for some reason when I’m speaking to someone at the make-up counter at Neiman Marcus*. Come to think of it, she appears at Nordstrom from time-to-time as well.

This “Twilight Zone” me will happily make small talk for hours (something the real me struggles with so much), she’s a heck of a lot better on the ole’ patience scale than I, and she eats a lot! Oh, and did I mention the Southern accent.

What I’m describing here is not an energy drink kind of high nor is it spin. It’s an extroversion buzz. A huge burst of adrenaline in the face of interaction with groups of people (or situations) where I’m not entirely comfortable for one reason or another. Perhaps the pressure is on or I’m with folks who don’t already know my issues and warts. It’s a bit like a Broadway show in some ways. Oh, and the after-rush crash is just as predictable.

I’ve been angry at this alter ego of mine – many times. Sometimes she’s so passionate and enthusiastic that she’s intimidating. But, if I’m honest, I find she’s really very helpful. She’s the convention queen and the presentation princess. She gets along with everyone and is better at making personal connections than I typically am. It’s a good collaborative effort!

If you see us, be sure to say, “Haaaay, welcome! I am soo glayd to meet y’all!

Crash is coming … wait for it … zzzzzzzz